Adolescence

I open a new thread so that we can raise everything related to adolescence and diabetes.

Adolescence is an extremely complicated stage, in which hormones and rebellion of age make us crazy.
Naturally, there are quieter and more stable teenagers and others more complicated and rebellious, but I think there are enough elements common to all and to start specific issues about them.

Today I am posing a problem, and I give the departure pistol:
Celia turns 16 years old.As there is a class on Tuesday, the next day you have to get up early and, in addition, she has friends who come only the weekend, she wants to celebrate her birthday today?Well, asking us to let her sleep at home of one of her friends.

We never left it because, for once we gave up, the thing ended with ambulance, glucagon and the whole story.But that more than a year ago, and Celia insists that she wants to sleep at Alejandra's house.Alejandra is from Oviedo and the weekend comes.We know their parents and they are willing to be pending (for some strange reason, they worship Celia)

The negative part is that they do not understand diabetes, and that Celia and Alejandra want to leave tonight until 3 or 4.

I am not afraid of the night, but when Celia falls asleep, which is when she can give him a hiccup and not find out.

Both my husband and my mother tell me that it is very risky to leave her, that Celia is not responsible.
On the other hand, Celia is studying well, taking good grades and having many controls to improve her glycemia.

The most comfortable, naturally, would not be left.But I have never sought comfort, but the best for her and, honestly, I don't know what to do.

Suggestions are admitted, even to the last bull.

Health

A 16 -year -old breed at three or four in the morning?: Shock :: Shock :: Shock :: Shock :: Shock :: Shock :: Shock :: Shock:

Auto, here they leave from 12 or 13 years (it seems to me a nonsense)

Celia has never left at night, although all her friends do.Tonight is going to leave, but until 2. In addition, Alejandra's father will be "around" and take them home.This is a town and the good thing is that they can't do anything without us.

Anyway, what worries me most is how it will be when he falls asleep.

Health

I do not know for other places but going out until 2 or 3 in the morning is something quite common in which areas of Valencia and seeing boys of those ages is not much less difficult.
In fact, in my "young times" we already did ...: oops:

The problem comes when setting limits and I suppose it is where Alea goes ... although putting doors to the sea is a bit complicated.

The "usual" is to release "rope little by little" with measures, if possible, agreed.
Example of measures that I know in other cases do: set an hour of immovable return and call it every 1 or 2 hours to call by TFNO ... Every time it is not fulfilled, the time of return is cut at the next exit.
As the space between calls can be extended or replaced by SMS.

Regarding staying to sleep outside, my opinion in the case of Celia and from the absolute distance, is that the benefit to get the risk is greater.
Obviously you have to set mandatory guidelines to fulfill: controls, insulin, intake hydrates ... what you already know.

I think that integrating into a "social normality" is important at age 16 and much more having diabetes.
On the other hand, it is not the same as Celia controls her diabetes at home (even if she does everything) that "staging" the control of her diabetes away from home and out of hyperprotection that you give all parents.
Although it seems a bullshit things are not perceived the same and the "injection" of self -esteem that can give a different context is very important ... It is like the confirmation that you are growing and that you can assume how you are.

And so far today's class :))

PS: I think without being a teenager and without knowing in a significant percentage the case of Celia.

Alea, it seems to me that if you wrote yesterday it is because the decision was already taken and Celia will have left.In the end you will have yielded, I do not criticize it and I hope you accept this comment, I have seen you give many times (now for example I remember the dog, so many times denied;)), I assure you that I would have also yielded, we always want to wantOur children are happy and when we see them that diabetes makes them go bad drinks, we try not to deprive them of the good ones that life offers them ...
The thing to leave at night, if it is in a town, I do not see it dangerous in itself.The weekend that we are in the Juan village never arrives before 3 in the morning, they have a place where friends and we are calm.
I think the problem that arises is the night .I, in your place, and in view of the fact that you are trying to change your attitude, it would demonstrate confidence, although not security;Surely you have raised your fears and that she has promised to take care of you, then ... to trust!, although you do not sleep all night, if, with this demonstration of trust, their attitude or the result (independent of their attitude)You have not gone well you will have enough arguments not to give up next time and if everything goes well (as we all want) next time it will be less hard.You also have the right to relax and see that your life does not have to be different from those of your friends.
I hope everything has gone well, tell us ...

Owash, we were writing at the same time !!!:))

Looking for the "social normality" in a society like ours is to look for ruin itself (or that of children).When I hear cases like Marta del Castillo, I think "what poor girl, what parentsIt turns out that with 17 years I was in the equivalent of 8th basic (take) and left one day from a daily home: shock :.His parents so wide (sure they also thought they should trust).Then what happens and come out asking for signatures for anything but for responsible paternity.

When I was 16 years old and I went to the end -of -course trip to Mallorca my father told me "Do not let them not even touch your hair, that certain mistakes are going to pay very expensive throughout your life" .I can't think of a better advice for a boy or a girl of that age.But no, now what is taken is aborting without your parents finding out or doing what friends do, that if they do not trauman (such as passing through the course even if you suspend hahahaha).What accumulation of nonsense.

P.S.Who has written is a 35 -year -old woman.

Joer, what barbarities in such little space.

Auto, I think churras mixtures with merina.It seems to me that you have taken things and a lot.
What will have to do to leave until 3 in the morning with the case of Marta del Castillo?: Shock: much less with abortion ?????: Shock :: Shock:

All the girls who go out until 3 are unfortunate and are going to be lost for a lifetime ?????Will they only drink and buzz ???: Shock:
JOERRR ....
If a 16 or 17 -year -old girl practices sex is going to pay it all her life?: Shock :: Shock:
I must meet few people because I don't know a single case like that.

I was going to joke on the subject, but seen what you write ... best step.

Good morning!!!Alea, at this time you will be calm.I want everything to be fine.
My eldest daughter is 20 years old and has always had a schedule for something strict if we compare it with the one I had, who had no problem getting home when I wanted to, always warning and such and such ... but I grew upIn a town, as Alea says in the villages everything is very different ... still, Dana had no problems returning home at that time (2-3 in the morning) when they had a party or some special event ...As Owash says you have to loosen the rope, and if she is now trying, some reward will have, I say.
Regarding diabetes ... that is another story ... I understand the fear you have "when you fall asleep", especially because of Celia's instability .... Let's see if this time it has done well andLittle by little you acquire more confidence.

I guess you are not a mother, auto, but deal

Auto, yourself in your last sentence you have described all the text that you have written ... "What cluster of nonsense": Mrgreen:
I have nothing to add to everything Owash has told you, with whom I share your point of view.
What will have to do that a chic@ celebrated his birthday until 2 in the morning with his friends, with the case of Marta del Castillo?: Mrgreen :: Twisted :.
And to put here about abortion, what is that?There are 16 -year -old teenagers who say at home that they are pregnant, or be beaten or they literally throw it out of home, those teenagers must be protected, the one who tells them or not to their parents demonstrate love and trustthat parents have won with her and that must be worked at home.
Well, we left the subject.
Alea, I hope Celia has had a great time.

Well, I do not agree with how things are raised today.I also think that the night does not bring anything good, especially when it is small and that is why I have talked about abortion and the famous case, because both things are related to permissiveness .When I was 16 years old I had not allowed me for the tenth of the things that are allowed today and I am very grateful for the education I have received.You think differently and you have not respected an opinion contrary to yours.Thanks and goodbye.

UF, how much controversy.Although you already know that I adore the controversies.But I go to the point, you'll be intrigued of how the thing ended.

Total success!

I put it like this, in capital letters, because I am very happy.Celia came out and fulfilled.One condition was to make his controls and send me SMS with the result, to be calm.At 12 he was 114. At 3 in the morning, 102. At 6, 120 and at 9, 158. At one noon I was in 99. I almost wanted to let her live in Alejandra's house: D

No, seriously, they arrived at the set and strictly completed the conditions.Celia is happy and feels older.And we give us peace of mind to see that you can take the reins.

Now I go with the controversy.

Auto, I respect all the opinions, although I think you have spent 7 villages with Marta del Castillo.Let's see if it turns out that when a girl is killed, the fault will be from her parents.
My daughter frequently goes to Friends House.They go all the gang and it seems normal to me.I know where and who is, and that is what matters to me.
In fact, I recognize little, because I put my daughter limits that I never had.I have never had an arrival time and started traveling alone to 4 years.However, I have always known how to put limits and I have never had problems, I have not even smoked joints or drink alcohol, you see.

As for abortion, I hope Celia never looks in such a hard situation.To do this, apart from chatting with her openly on the subject, Celia always has condoms in her bag, since the age of 14.It is a rule that I already put to her older brothers and she with more reason.I may not use them, or maybe yes, I don't know.I don't even give them to you or encourage anything to be encouraged (and I let it know), but so that, when the time comes (and I do not think I will notify me in advance) I am protected in the face of pregnancies and diseasessexually transmitted.
By the way, auto, abortion I do not see that it is related to permissiveness, but to ignorance or improvisation.In fact, there are many girls of those who have to be at home at a certain time that are seen in that situation, perhaps for not knowing, or perhaps due to lack of caution.

Close their eyes that our teenage children will begin at one time or another to sex that seems irresponsible and reckless.

Mamidejuan, I'm going to give in.Of course it does not bother me to say that I give up.In fact it is true in some cases, such as the dog.However, yesterday I do not see it as a assignment, but rather as a concession for deserves.Celia is struggling to take care, she is studying and her teachers tell me that she is another girl, nothing to do with the previous one.That is why we have decided that he deserved, since he begins to behave with more responsibility, give him a little more rope.
I have always told him that the length of the rope will depend on his attitude and the results he gets.The greater the responsibility for its part, more freedom for ours.

Owash, I totally agree with what you have said.Nothing to object.And I thank you for opinion.

Velia, I tell you the same.

Anyway, that the first flight of the nest, despite fear, has been a success.That gives us a lot of peace of mind.

Health

I am very happy that everything went well, you look happy and relieved and it's not for less ...: D, Celia is maturing, do you see how everything comes? ..

I am not going to enter this controversy, I have no teenage children so I do not know how I would act, but I cannot stop telling you that I do not agree with you and I agree with everything that others have said, we must not confuseThings, the culprits are the ones who murder and not the parents of the victims ....
Ahhhhhh and something else, here all opinions are respected, apparently it is you who do not admit that we think contrary ......

Alea, I used the verb yield because you used it in your first comment;):
"We never left it because, for once we gave up, the thing ended with ambulance, glucagon and the whole story"
I am very happy that it went well.She has seen the confidence you have had and you will be calmer.

I have not described the post of others as "barbarities", therefore I have respected, although I have not shared the general opinion.I would like to make it very clear that I have not lacked respect for anyone since it is an important point for me.I have also not spoken at any time of "guilty" but of "responsible paternity" .In my opinion, parents have a great responsibility for their minor children.It does not seem normal to me that a 17 -year -old girl goes to the floor of an uncle (who lives alone!) A day of diary instead of having his elbows.It is my opinion, you can share it or not, but it is not fine lynching who to disagree.I think that his parents (like everyone today) were very permissive and that that is a great mistake at that age we are talking about.

Alea, congratulations on what was achieved with Celia !!!!.Thank you for your assertive and constructive responses, you have known how to be in your place defending your ideas without throwing anyone, I like your ways.I also tell you, from respect, that it seems to me a big mistake to give a condom to a 14 -year -old creature.I have a 15 -year -old nephew and I always tell him to act when he can respond to his actions, not before.The condoms are a controlled risk (because they are not exempt from failures) and those risks can only be assumed by those who later respond from our actions.That is responsibility, maturity, coherence ... if you don't have it, don't play it.

I think that my point of view is in the antipodes of those of others and that it is not well received or appreciated at all, so I do not think it participates again.I wish you and your families best.Time will say who was right and who was wrong.

Hay Paz, Auto.

You have not talked about "barbarities", but you have described as "accumulation of nonsense", or have suggested that paternity is not responsible for those who allow what things.

In spite of everything, it doesn't matter either.If there are different opinions, it disagrees and nothing happens.

It is true that in sex absolute abstention would be the guarantee of zero risks, in terms of sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancies.
However, that absolute abstention is, in most cases, a chimera.And I don't know how much mentally advisable.I suppose it will depend on the beliefs of each one, that they seem worthy of respect.However, I am convinced that giving a child a condom does not presuppose the obligation to have sex.Moreover, who for his convictions prefers to stay out, I do not think he will change his mind for carrying a condom in his pocket.

The children do not come with instruction book, and each one is in a way.Nor can we think that our convictions and yours are the same, so what I try to instill in mine is responsibility and that they can choose their path (not mine) from knowledge, freedom and respect.
And, of course, I am calmer knowing that, if the case is, my daughter will have something that protects her against unwanted consequences.
I do not believe that the fact of carrying an airbag in the foment car that we are crashing around, but it gives peace of mind to know that, in case of shock, there is something that can help us protect us.

And we are not lynching, car.Here we like the diversity of opinions.It is simply that your way of comment has sounded as if you were calling us unrestamed parents and, honestly, it does not seem fair.

We would like you to follow in the forum, that we all fit here, each one with their ideas, because in diversity is wealth.

Health

seek the "social normality" in a society like ours is to look for the ruin itself (or that ofThe children ).When I hear cases like Marta del Castillo, I think "what poor girl, what parents so ancujjjfiho0asj had" .It turns out that with 17 years I was in the equivalent of 8th basic (take) and left one day from a daily home: shock :.His parents so wide (sure they also thought they should trust).Then what happens and come out asking for signatures for anything but for responsible paternity.

But no, now what is taken is abort without your parents find or do what friends do, that if they do not trauman (such as passing through the course even if you suspend hahahaha).What accumulation of nonsense.

This is what you have written ... and they are barbarities, at least what is written in red ... Hence it is clear that the death of the girl is the fault of the parents.
That then you say that it is not what you mean ... Well, nobody we are perfect and it is good that you clarify it.
Nor do I understand how you can talk so happily about a case ... I don't know if you will know it in depth (by closeness) or simply see it by TV ...

But where is the limit? Do parents have to have children smeared until 18?The freedom of the people begins at age 18? Is the 10 a good time to get home or during the day there are no crimes? All bad students are because they have some closed parents? The worst of a child/Is it because of the parents?
Of course, it exists and must encourage responsible paternity ... but nothing is black or white, each case is a world and simple solutions do not exist, but it would have been all that we would have all taken them.

Well, the important thing, I am very happy that Celia has overcome this little test ... As I said before, the benefits exceed the risks;The results will be seen in the short, medium and long term ... and I think much more in the case of Celia.
Now it comes to maintain the same line, which is complicated ... but there is what begins well (or in this case continues).

True, Owash, we have the feeling of "surpassed test" and that, although it seems unimportant, gives us great confidence to let go gradually.
I think it is the beginning of a long independence process, as difficult as necessary.But the first step, which is the most complicated, is the one we have just given, and we are happy with the result and with Celia's attitude.

Thanks for the support.

Health to all

Alea, I'm glad double: why you allowed him to leave, and because everything has gone like silk.

Auto, the forums have a big problem, and that is that much of the language is missing, only the writing is, there are missing tones, body language is missing ... and that can lead to badly interpreting things depending on the State that we have ourselvesWhen reading.I am tired of seeing fucks in forums (I move in several with much more movement, and many more controversies) and are almost always for these reasons.So I always practice the "read soft" technique, that is, trying to minimize the sensations of what I am reading, and putting myself in the skin of the other when I do.

That said, from my 38 years, I will tell you that in part I can share your opinion, people are at every moment of life what we have learned, and we learn at home, at school, with friends ... Everything weBrand, and everything forges our personality.

But I do not agree on many things, no matter how much miniskirt or provocative clothing that a woman wears, the fault belongs to the rapist.And no, we cannot live (or pretend that our children do) in a glass bubble forever.When you can listen to Sabina's song "If what you want is to live a hundred years ..." The world, the country and the society in which we live has a series of dangers ... but the solution is not hiding from them, there areto prevent them as much as possible, and fight against them.

It is not about not crossing the forest because they live wolves, but about teaching to cross it dodging the wolves.

On the subject of sex, I think the position of giving our children (I still lack ...............) an adequate sexual education, and give them a condom so that it does notThey have to do it, at the time they decide to do it, without protection.Dictatorial and prohibitive positions do not lead more than to rebellion or submission, and none of those behaviors desire for my daughter in the future.I prefer to be able to make your own decisions with all the information that I can transmit.Undoubtedly you have to establish rules, but with a teenager, who already "feels older" you have to negotiate them, in a way that is perceived as fair by him.It is not easy, no doubt, but I believe that if it is done since childhood, good results are obtained.

Greetings.

Thanks, Nacho.
I am convinced that we have done well and that this can motivate Celia to take care of more.If you see that good control and responsibility allow you to obtain an equal (or almost) life to that of your friends, and at the same time you see the good result, I think it will be encouraged to follow that path.

And I also believe that it is good to count here what is done and how, well to serve as a guideline if it goes well, good to be careful if it goes wrong and serves as a prevention.

Anyway, I hope this thread does not remain only on this issue and all issues related to adolescence are raised, whether they directly affect our children as if not.Here would frame the issue of alcohol, drugs, excursions, study outside the home ...
There are a thousand aspects of adolescence that I think is very important that they are treated from the diabetes conditioner, both possible problems and possible solutions.

Those are the advantages of forums.
The inconveniences have been explained by Nacho: the half smiles, gestures, double senses are not noticed here, and perhaps sometimes they lend themselves to confusion (I have also had experiences in that field) but it is what there is.

Health