Hello,
Yes you're right.
I think my boyfriend does what you say, that he feels his diabetes as his personal personal in what I should not get.
What I did when I started dating him was to observe him.And after a few months I realized that I could not leave him just being responsible for his diabetes, because otherwise he would be with important dances every time.What gave me the most was that he had an accident driving.
I gave him time to show me that he could only, and he showed me that he couldn't.That's why I decided to act and try to help him better.And I did it, now it is controlled a lot better.But it still has that touch of tozudoneria that ignores me and because it seems like it does not eat and (as if it were a small child who is sleepy and does not want to go to sleep) it is mostly on weekends in the mornings inThe sofa with some bass of up to 45 blood glucose and does not eat anything for head, and does not move or do anything "so that the glucose does not lower."
That's why I started getting angry and sometimes shouting at him, because when he has so little blood glucose it is as sleepy and is the only way to react and do what I tell him and take hydrates.I can't force them by the mouth ...
When we started living together, they always gave him lows at night, simply for not eating enough before bedtime.And I told it and he insisted that he did not need, that he would raise glucose and that the increase is worse than the glycose drops for long -term health.They arrived at 3 in the morning and began to tremble and shake and I had to take a water base with sugar and give it to drink;And see if it was stubborn that many times I did not want to drink it and even became violent with me;And my boyfriend is big and strong, I am smaller than him.I was afraid of him and I had to call his parents at dawn to open his mouth and let me give him the water with sugar.Calling parents had effect.
Based on a lot of effort, I managed to make it measured at night before bedtime (before it was not measured, only in the morning and at 8 in the afternoon !!) and that it started enough before bedtime.I taught him to measure the hydrates of the meals, namely what amount should ingest to raise the glucose to normal levels, and how much I needed according to the exercise to be done later.I had to teach him everything.And at the same time, I was also learning, because I had no idea of anything about diabetes until I met him.He had books about diabetes, but didn't he read them?I don't know.
He is a very stubborn person, very much.And he believes that diabetes is his thing.But at the time I go with him in the car and if he has a downturn we can have an accident and die both, that is no longer a problem, the problem is mine too and the rest of society, so thatIt entails this.
My boyfriend sometimes came from working in the car driving with 39 blood glucose !!!!!That is incredible.If I got home without being able to hold a fork to eat !!And all because no one forced him to measure and control himself and eat at his due hours.
I had to threaten him to go to work to measure him and make him eat in front of the whole world, until I got measured in mid -morning and eat what is necessary at that time.
I got everything based on threats and anger and screams.It is sad and hard, but it was so.I was a person without character, I never used to scream or get angry;Well, I don't know if luckily or unfortunately, thanks to him I took the character I have now.
My boyfriend now doesn't need to be so much on him.It is a bit more independent in this aspect.Because now he is aware of how he is in the bass, I even recorded videos to see how he is when he has 45 glucose andHe has amazed, because he from the outside had never seen herself.And you don't want to see, you are ashamed.
What affects me and what is affecting our relationship, is that I do not feel valued or see that he thank me for anything.When he has glucose at normal levels it is when I see his true personality, and I see him very proud and selfish.And I feel very bad, because I have had a bad time trying to improve his control of diabetes and it seems that I even reproached me to have treated him like this, when I have been forced to do it in this way, because there was no other way to do it.Or it did so or I would have broken the relationship for a long time, for my security.
I tell you an anecdote.
When we still didn't live together.When we had I think that about 3 months leave, we decided to go to the disco one night (something that he doesn't like anything, in fact we never returned because he does not want to go).Well, we went in his car because he insisted.I was not yet aware of his lack of control with diabetes.
The disco was about 50km approx.Of our houses, it was a huge disco of those that make remote from the cities.I was very happy.
The first leg was fine, there everything very well too.It was time to take something, and I asked for a Coca Cola;He asked for a Coca Cola Light.It seemed strange to me, because at that time, if I was not going to eat anything, Coca Normal Coca with sugar could be asked.But well .. I assumed that he would notice that he was high for the nerves of going to the disco after a long time and with me.
No, he had no idea of his levels, he didn't even bother to measure himself.I recommended it and did not want.Moreover, I wanted to drive back, I suggested it and he didn't leave me either.He did not dance, because he does not like it, and I thought that maybe I was fine because I hadn't made efforts and that.
Well, the worst came later.I gave him a vote of trust.
We came in the car back and began to fell asleep.My boyfriend measures 1.80 almost and is big.I told him to stop and that I was driving.And not.
I came all the way grabbing the steering wheel and squeezing what he had to do: slows down, rotates, brakes.And I didn't stop or let me drive to me, I came as drunk and became violent with me.Once he went through a works area that was limited to 40km/h, he passed it to 90 and the axis of the back wheels was twisted, because he took a huge bump.And I didn't stop.Luckily nothing happened to us and we got to the house of pure miracle, I tremble, that's when I started screaming for a sugar, and it cost me a lot, but it ended up taking it.
It was there that I made the decision that I had to force him for the bad ones (for the good one he could not with him) to control his levels.To follow the relationship with him, I had to change.Since then everything is blackmail (I go with you if you measure yourself, you have the car if you eat enough before);or threats (or measure or call your parents to measure you);anger and screams, because when he is on a downturn or shouted or seems as if he did not listen to me.Luckily the big dowers now never happen to him.
Do you understand why I have to do like this?And why do I feel so bad?And especially why do I feel so little valued?Because I have been forced to do all this to help you and I do not like to behave like this, and even on top I appreciate anything, on the contrary, it tells me that I have a character sometimes there is no one to hold me.
I want to think and I think that from his point of view he is not at all of his state sometimes and that is why he treats me like that.Because if it's your personality like that, I don't know if I would consider leaving it because this is consuming me slowly.If at least I thank me from time to time ...
I just want to tell my experience, and vent and try to understand him a little more.His family is not aware of what he means living with him, his parents areMajor and do not know what happens to him, due to ignorance and ignorance.My family does not know what it is to live with diabetes, they don't know the character they have, if I tell you anything they always think that I exaggerate.I feel that nobody understands me or supports me.
Thanks for listening to me and we encourage everyone.